downincognito

sheikhs and the city

2008-09-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

It was just another manic monday.

They had the whole summer to themselves, yet clubs seem to get kicks out of doing last-minute business on D-Day.

We knew all along that Berbatov would end up at OT, no matter what. The move finally materialised just 20 minutes from midnight.

After the chain-smokin Bulgarian hitman, the focus of the transfer rumour mill had been on Real crybaby Robinho.

Kenyan & Co. were so cocksure of turning him into a Blue that they even started selling his shirts.

Man, they had another thing comin!

Enter the Arabian Abramovich(es).

The Abu Dhabi Investment Group was just what the doctor had ordered for bankrupt Thaksin's woes and the new Man City owners didn't waste any time in testing the greed quotient of some of the top clubs in Europe.

Soon, David Villa, Mario Gomez, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, Berbatov and Robinho were all wanted men.

Caught between the devil and the deep sea, Real were always the likeliest to blink first and soon enough, their squad was looking quite weak upfront but the coffers swelled with petro dollars... 61.6 million to be exact.

Ye can well imagine the real Abramovich's reaction!

With every big-money takeover, the Premier League is thankfully becoming a level-playing field. Chelsea ain't the only super-rich bully around anymore.

Gawd knows how this story's gonna pan out, but let's enjoy the ride while it lasts.

talking movies

2008-08-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

Considering the fact that i tend to watch more movies nowadays than footy matches, it's only fair that i spend some time talking about them as well.

No critical analyses. Just a line or two will do, i guess.

Here's a list of what i saw in the past couple of days...

Das Leben der Anderen (2006)
Lan: German
Dir: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Rating 9.5/10

To be honest, this tale just blew my mind away. The mood, music, acting, storyline and ending... everything is oh so perfect. This one has surely booked a permanent spot on my Top-10 list.

Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)
Lan: English
Dir: Amy Heckerling
Rating 6/10

Disappointing. This flick owes its cult status to the tits of Phoebe Cates (whoa!) and Jennifer Jason Leigh more than anything else. Bubblegum affair.

Goodbye Lenin (2003)
Lan: German
Dir: Wolfgang Becker
Rating 7.5/10

My second East German experience in two days. Lovely story. Steady work overall, but never reaches the heights of Das Leben...

robinho and the curse of no 7

2008-08-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, eh!?!

Well, a combination of laziness and busyness meant that i never had any time for this little pursuit of mine.

Gotta thank TheDropper for unwittingly reminding me of all the fun i used to have out here.

Rumour has it that Robinho is as good as a Blue boy now.

The last time i checked the Beeb and the Guard, nothing ain't official yet. But some websites are reporting that the official store is already minting money by selling Robinho shirts.

So, is he the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle, as Big Phil sees it?

Well, he could be.

He didn't do anything spectacular at Real. Fifteen goals from 40 games last season is not a stat that sets yours pulses racing. But, it's a huge improvement from the previous season (8 from 40). Oh, that boy can dribble and do a stepover or two. Eat that, not-so-fat Ronaldo!

Robinho could well kick-start the Samba revolution into motion.

But if he's gonna slip into that dreaded No 7 jersey, then gawd save the Blues.

Remember Sheva, Mutu, Maniche, BOGARDE!

Somebody please retire that shirt!

Amen.

missing in action

2006-11-11T05:19:00.000-08:00

Nov. 8 London Chelsea 4 (FL, AS, ME, DD) Aston Villa 0.
Nov. 5 London Tottenham 2 Chelsea 1 (CM).
Oct. 31 Barcelona Barcelona 2 Chelsea 2 (FL, DD).
Oct. 28 Sheffield Sheffield Utd 0 Chelsea 2 (FL, MB).
Oct. 25 Blackburn Blackburn 0 Chelsea 2 (JC, SK).
Oct. 21 London Chelsea 2 (AS, MB) Portsmouth 1.
Oct. 18 London Chelsea 1 (DD) Barcelona 0.
Oct. 14 Reading Reading 0 Chelsea 1 (OG).

whispers work wonders

2006-10-03T13:36:00.000-07:00

Sept. 30 London Chelsea 1 (DD) Aston Villa 1

As far as bogey teams are concerned, the Villans have been quite an awfully painful thorn on the Blue flesh. Luke Moore made a tidy 10K last season for being the first guy to breach our impressive defence after six teams failed to outfox it. In the away fixture, he piled on the misery by scoring the goal that derailed our title trip a lil bit.

And that was a Villa side coached by Everyuth David O’Leary, who was trying his best to send the boys back to the Cuckoo Cola championship or whatever they call it down there.

Enter football’s version of the horse whisperer, the enigmatically animated Martin O’Neill (who’s next, John O’Shea!?!) and Villa was busy embarking on an unbeaten run that must have had many Gunners already busy biting their nails and thumbs.

Oh, for sure O’Neill and the boys came looking for a win at the Bridge. A forwardline comprising Moore, Angel and that guy whose name sounds like Adebayor was enough proof of Villa’s intent.

The guys and gals who switched on the telly a tad too late must have missed the opening goal. After that Midas crash course, whatever Drogba touches has been turning into goals. Inside three minutes, he was at it again after Robben curled in the mother of all deliveries. Learn from him, Lampsy.

Villa was rattled and how. The Blues played as if their lives depended on it and raided the Villa half in waves at an explosive pace. In fact, my heartbeat went up by a dozen notches throughout the match.

The hugely unsung Geremi was impressive as ever and it’s quite a travesty that the gaffer hides him in the fridge for so often. For all his time inside, there was never a rusty touch evident in his play. It’s about time Mourinho made him the regular right-back.

At the other flank, Tweedy’s hubby was anonymous as usual. Oh Bridgey, my heart bleeds for ye!

For all the tsunami imitation, the only casualty was Moore, who was stretchered off after a nasty knock. However, Villa had another hero waiting in the wings. Just before halftime, he duly headed in the equaliser after some sloppy defending. Ok, now we all know your name, Agbonlahor.

It was a similar story after the break, the only difference being that Sheva was increasingly looking desperate. The constant criticism seems to have cooked his brains and he drew himself deep into midfield and tried to orchestrate play. He even had a superb shot on goal, which was palmed away by the inspired Sorensen.

The irritated gaffer threw Kalou and SWP into the mix. Off went Geremi and Robben, who stormed into the tunnel with a furious face. Logically, A. Cole and Lamps could have made better sacrifices. Sigh.

SWP zigged here, zagged there and could have easily scored the second. Instead of passing, he decided to test the strength of the crossbar. In no time, he had another chance to make amends. He had all of the goal and Sorensen to aim at but made a hash of it by passing. For good measure, he mishit the pass in style. The nightmare continues.

Chances galore, godspeed pace, well-threaded passes, the game was blessed with everything but a second goal. The Villans could have well even nicked it, but for Maka’s comedy interception. That sure looked like a red to me.

And the whispers go on.

old drogs, new tricks

2006-09-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Sept. 27 Sofia Levski 1 Chelsea 3 (DD 3)

How many times have we secretly wished that if only we had the electric Eto'o instead of that donkey Drogba. Oh, just how many zillion times did we pray that Drogs would find his true calling in body-building and spare us those perennial gut-wrenching moments when he used to kick the ball at anything and everything but the goal.

And every screw-up was followed by that awful jaw-clenching grimace. Drogs surely must have sawed off half his teeth by now, i bet.

However, mr muscles has been slowly but surely making amends and this could well be season in which he finally eclipses Eto'o.

As the gaffer said the other day, visitng an East European team who's playing its first Champions League match at home can be quite tricky. But after 10 minutes of the game, the Blues were more concerned about the wet and utterly slippery pitch than the opposition.

The defenders and midfielders were looking like drunks and only the naivety of the hosts made sure that our slips never turned into mishaps.

Sheva only had a bloody face to show for all his efforts and Drogs gleefully continued to prosper at the former's expense. This two-man hitman strategy is working like a charm and at this rate, nobody's gonna care if Sheva finds the net or not.

Nine games, seven goals and a maiden Blue hat-trick to boot. We have all seen the power, commitment and hard work dished out by this African. Finally, Drogs is applying the much-needed finishing touch to his deadly repertoire.

Drogs dear, maybe you can make thy living in football after all.

lucky lucky lampsy

2006-09-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sept. 23 London Fulham 0 Chelsea 2 (FL 2)

Bashing Lampard has become some sorta past time of late and to be frank, it's not entirely without reason. He's a fine midfielder, no doubt about it. His fitness levels are legendary, prompting even Sir Alex Ferguson to label him a freak. But, he's no Stevie Me. Gerrard oozes talent, while Lamps soared to the dizzy heights with sheer commitment and hard work. And a huge slice of luck.

Confidence personified, Lamps started having a go from the edge of the box every now and then. The lucky deflected goal became a norm in his play so much that he ended up being Chelsea's top scorer for two years running (2005/06: 16, 2004/05: 13).

Sometime around Luna's birth, lady luck seems to have deserted Lamps and an utterly forgettable World Cup followed a strange and silent end to the season. Lamps just couldn't buy a goal for love or money. Not even from the spot.

The short trip across the road to Craven Cottage always promised to be a tricky one, but with Robben back on the left flank, many (including me) expected Sheva to shine.

However, it was Lamps who ended up profiting from Ballack's absence.

Apart from Robben's screamer that rattled the crossbar, Chelsea looked clueless. Michael Brown sure must have watched the Sissokko tapes. He was a constant menace, pushing and shoving and being a veritable pain in the ass. Expect more such stuff in the future.

It took the introduction of Kalou to inject some pace and a penalty was the reward.

Lamps made no mistake this time and the new-found confidence propelled him to score another. It won't win any goal of the week contest, but would still mean a lot to him.

Guess, lady luck's buried the hatchet.

never mind the ballacks

2006-09-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

Sheva might finally find his feet thanks to one German’s moment of madness.

Liverpool’s Momo Sissoko was hailed by some as the nouveau Patrick Vieira, but he’s busy proving them wrong by giving the utterly lovable Robbie Savage a run for his money.

After winding up half the Chelsea lineup in double quick time and winning a yellow for his trouble, Sissy was living dangerously. He tripped Lamps clumsily and immediately looked at the ref with guilty eyes. Comrade Riley, well aware that tinkersenor Benitez was twice his size, sighed and showed mercy.

Ballack gave Momo a taste of his own medicine and was soon seen walking off to enjoy an early shower and probably beer.

It wasn’t too surprising to note that the club didn’t bother to approach the FA with an appeal to cut short Ballack’s punishment. Maybe the three-match suspension was just what Mourinho was secretly praying for.

With Essien in the form of his life, Lamps too big a bone in the Blue spine to be dislocated and Ballack too big a star to be dropped, the gaffer was forced to accommodate too many central midfielders inside a telephone booth.

With Ballack out of the way for the time being, he can finally give Sheva and the fans something to sing and cheer about.

The 4-3-3 formation has served us so well in recent times and there is no real reason to ditch it for diamonds and pearls. The so-called diamond formation against Liverpool was narrower than your average alley and posed no trouble at all for the Pool defence.

No wonder, Cech was forced to hoof the ball towards Drogba all the time and even the Ivorian was kinda getting bored with the ping pong game.

Elsewhere, the clueless Sheva was busy preparing his apology letter for Tiger Woods.

Now that Robben’s up and running again, the midfield looks set to bring our starved strikers more into play. It’s time the team rolled the ball forward rather than test its gravity all the time. Sheva badly needs one good game and Robben might just do the trick.

Go ahead Sheva, invite Tiger again. This time, there won’t be any need for apologies.

sweet revenge

2006-09-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

Sept. 16 London Chelsea 1 (DD) Liverpool 0

Oh! What a painful thriller. At this rate, weak-hearted Blue fans, beware. Watching Chelsea can be quite a threat to thy blood-pumping system.

I expected Robben to start, but the gaffer kept faith with the lineup that did the business against Bremen.

Evidently, our midfield lacked any kind of cohesion and the Reds were doing all the running and threatening. Blonde boy Kuyt could have easily given them the lead. Bless the crossbar. Bet Cech must have planted a kiss on it afterwards.

And against the run of play, Lamps shrugged off his awful luck and form to direct a pinpoint cross from the right flank. Drogba, with his ass facing Carragher and beyond him, the goal, chested the ball with élan, swiveled in style and unleashed a left-footed volley so stunningly pretty that even Pepe Reina was rooted to the spot.

After the break, Ballack fell victim to Momo Sissoko’s antics and saw red. The Reds attacked with renewed vigour and it was virtually one-way traffic. I was busy biting my nails, with a constant prayer in my lips.

Gerrard, Kuyt, Crouch all had excellent chances to win the game but it just wasn’t their evening. The Blue defence did its job well, with Carvalho making some superlative tackles. The cannibal showed his first signs of coming undone and was soon replaced by Ferreira, who was excellent. Robben had a cameo as well and almost won a penalty.

Well, the guy up there must have thought that Drogba’s wonder goal was too good to be wasted on a losing cause or even a drawn one. In the end, three more points in the bag.

Mourinho knew it was close call. No wonder, he was acting way too mild, shaking everybody’s hands and was busy calling a spade a spade at the post-match briefing.

He needs to bring back 4-3-3 soon. Otherwise lady luck just might call his bluff.

up and running in europe

2006-09-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

Sept. 13 London Chelsea 2 (ME, MB) Bremen 0

If September comes, can Champions League be far behind!?! Thankfully UEFA's pride and joy has finally caught up with us and every club worth its salt is ready to unleash hell.

Being the first game and that too at home, the gaffer rightly decided to play it safe. With a double-header against Barca looming large, winning three points was imperative. As a result, the midfield was packed with no-nonsense CMs and Bremen didn’t find much joy. The same could be said about the fans as well.

It took a defensive slip to open the deadlock. The workaholic Essien profited from the mistake and coolly slotted the loose ball home. Ballack’s superlative penalty made it 2-0 after the break.

Thank God, Lamps finally had the balls to let Ballack take it. I’m eagerly waiting for him to change his mind about the free-kicks as well. At least share it, Lamps!

Klose did come close a couple of times, but overall, Bremen didn’t boast enough fangs to scare anybody at the Bridge.

Hopefully, it’s the same story on the return leg as well.

yo jimbo!

2006-09-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

Sept. 09 London Chelsea 2 (DD, RC) Charlton 1.

Once again this lazy looney was forced to call upon all those non-existent multitasking skills as he was still busy editing crap copies at work by the time the Addicks came calling at the Bridge.

It was just like watching an utterly engrossing tennis match in some sweaty stadium. One moment my eyes will be busy tracking Lamps lumping the ball all around the telly. Soon they will shift towards the 17 inch monitor and my hands will get busy again, separating the verbal wheat from the chaff.

There goes Didi, scoring his third of the season. And then contrived to miss a million chances. Anyway, by the looks of it, he just won't let Lamps have the satisfaction of being our top-scorer yet again this season.

The first half was more like it. We ran em ragged, SWP made many a mazy run but seemed to run outta ideas once he was in the vicinity of the box. This kid really needs help. And Sheva? Well, let the honeymoon drag on for a little while.

After the interval, it started to look like the game at Boro. Charlton looked pretty hurt and was trying its best to get even. Terry and company started to look shaky and Didi's predecessor JFH aka Jimbo conjured up quite a cute li'l curled wondergoal.

And then came the moment of the evening. Jimbo, about to do the celebration run, stopped in his tracks and looked up sheepishly at the sea of blue looking stunned in the stands. He soon broke into a gesture that went something like Nirvana's All Apologies. The surprised crowd soon sprang to its feet and applauded the prodigal son's return.

Soon enough, Carvalho gave the Bridge faithful another reason for applause. 2-1.

Lamps could have given the skinny scoreline some extra cushion but Carson kept his spot kick out. On second looks, it would have been harsh. Kalou sure was fouled but he was way off the ball when Ben Haim sent him rolling on the floor.

Three more points in the bag but the day's highlight was Jimbo's moment with the fans. Classless bunch of idiots? We are having a laugh!

going, going, going, going, going, going, gone!

2006-09-02T02:48:00.000-07:00

You could well call it the most protracted and infuriating prisoner exchange saga since Cold War stealthily sneaked into history books. The Frenchman can now finally cry "liberte" and the Englishman can make some quick pocket money by hawking his dopey diary which will tell you a thing or two about laundry manners ("Dein and Co. hung me out to dry") and fishing tips ("Arsenal fed me to the sharks").

Ashley Cole = William Gallas + £5 million. On the surface of it, Chelsea looks to have stolen the yummiest part of the pie. But, Wenger must be the one who enjoyed a quietly euphoric celebration dinner sometime after midnight.

The deal seems like a steal simply because Chelsea has been badly getting shafted in the transfer market. Cole is just a good left-back with a pretty pop singer for company, but Gallas is the epitome of versatility. You can stick him up anywhere in the backline and he won't look out of place. Of course, he's not known for burning the grass on the flanks with his sprints or a superlative crossing ability, but when Thierry Henry stutters at the sight of him, you know Gallas is something special.

Gallas had all the right to be greedy at Chelsea. He was the best defender but Terry always got the better paycheques and plaudits. Old Blighty's press corps is notorious for hyping up English players' performances. I do admit Terry is a born leader, risks his balls to block a dangerous ball and scores some handy goals. But, will Mourinho ever stick him up at leftback for even one match, let alone half a season?

The gaffer abused Gallas' versatility to no end and when the latter asked for a paycheck on par with Terry's, Kenyon and Co. were busy chuckling. Well, here's payback time.

Arsenal never was Gallas' destination. But the Italian 'matrimonial' scandal meant that his options simply went up in smoke. Looks like Wenger quietly had a word with him after the World Cup. And the tantrums promptly started.

Why do you think Wenger sold Sol and never tried hard to land a replacement. And this was despite the fact that Senderos was on the sickbed. He knew Gallas was coming.

For him, Gallas is Terry, Cole and Finnan all rolled into one. And £5 million will do nicely for the Cashburden Grove repayment fund.

bridge over troubled water

2006-08-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

Aug. 20 London Chelsea 3 (JT, FL, DD) Man City 0.
Aug. 23 Middlesbrough Middlesbrough 2 Chelsea 1 (AS).
Aug. 27 Blackburn Blackburn 0 Chelsea 2 (FL, DD).

Men get bored easily. Rich and spoilt brats, well, spare a guess. E! News wouldn't be in business but for Hollywood's disposable relationships and expensive freakshows. One hit is enough to get you a star on the much-publicised Walk of Fame. Two, fame itself.

A hat-trick is one of the most celebrated moments in any sport and nothing satisfies a striker more than the sight of the rival custodian going nuts thrice in the same game. Mourinho had the measure of the Premiership twice in a row and he would know more than anybody else that the third time is the trickier one.

And it shows.

Thankfully, the season opener was at home, Man City was the guest and Robben was fit. You can talk about all the millions spent on multinational talent but for me, Robben and J. Cole are the dudes who pump oxygen into Chelsea's system. Take em out of the picture and we look like sorry Wembley.

The A. Cole soap opera must have irked Bridge so much that he looked like a man possessed and hell-bent on proving a point. A similar vein was evident in Essien's game. The arrivals of Ballack and Mikel meant his job too was on the line. The rest of them were more or less on auto-pilot and 3-0 was the result.

Then came the trip to the Riverside. Sheva profited from Bridge's industry and all was well with the world. What followed was quite a disgrace. Everybody in a blue jersey looked like fatso Ronaldo in disguise and their casual passing game had an air of indifference about it more than the expected arrogance.

Boro played along for quite a while and the ticking clock forced them to go for broke. 2-1, game gone.

If the fans were expecting a backlash at Ewood Park, all they suffered was another snorefest. Bridge proved yet again why A. Cole would be another expensive folly. Bouhlarouz had a quiet debut. (Maybe it's time for Ben Thatcher to usurp the cannibal moniker.) Drogba came off the bench and stunned us all by staying on his feet and scoring an absolute peach. But it was far from an assured performance and a penalty saved the day for us.

More than anything else, motivation will be Mourinho's main challenge in his third season. And getting Robben and J. Cole back from the clutches of pretty nurses.

No wonder only five English teams have won the league thrice in a row. Winning can get quite boring at times.

reds draw first blood

2006-08-19T14:13:00.001-07:00

Aug. 13 Cardiff Chelsea 1 (AS) Liverpool 2.

I was too busy getting lost at the crowded Chennai Central to catch the Community Shield live on the telly. Looks like I didn't miss much.

The cinematically-celebrated Madras Mail was kind enough to reach home on time, and I was able to watch Sheva incite a thousand riots back in Milan by making love to his brand new blue jersey, after slotting home Lampard's sublime offering.

Inevitably, leftback target No. 2 Riise was always gonna show us what we are missing and that crouching striker reminded us why we need Gallas more than he needs us.

The gaffers failed to shake hands, again, and the battle continues...

just for the record

2006-08-12T15:34:00.000-07:00

Aug. 5 Chicago MLS All-Stars 1 Chelsea 0.
Aug. 8 Rotterdam Feyenoord 0 Chelsea 1 (FL).
Aug. 9 London Chelsea 1 (SWP) Celtic 1.

Five days, three friendlies and three different results. And it's kinda amusing to note that more than our strikers, the midfielders seem to know where the net is.

bluesed and confused

2006-08-07T15:21:00.000-07:00

Another one slips away. For free.

Sporting highlights rarely linger in my memory but one that may survive the test of time was Hernan Crespo's last-minute wicked goal against Wigan in the Premiership opener last season.

The Argentine never reached his peak in our beloved blue jersey and looks like he never will. Now that the smileybaby's back in the loving arms of Internazionale, I shed another tear for another transfer gone wrong.

Not so long ago, an UEFA suit called us the enemy of football. Looks like the club is on an expensive mission to prove that he was dead wrong.

Throwing money around like a drunk at an LA stripclub, Chelsea has been busy stuffing the pockets of Jean-Michel Aulas, Adriano Galliani etc. And donating Duff and Crespo, making many wonder if Christmas has kicked in earlier.

Aulas taught the world that taking Chelsea for a ride was kid's play and the soap opera goes on. Andriy Shevchenko is somebody I very much admire... in fact revere. But £30m for somebody aged 30!?!

It looks like the protracted Ashley Cole saga's going to end in similar fashion. I wouldn't be surprised if we make Wenger go nuts by shelling out £25m AND William Gallas for snapping up Tweedy's hubby.

I bet Karl-Heinz Rummenigge is busy cursing cats and dogs for letting Ballack slip away for nothing.

Sheva's creaking limbs may be more than enough to stuff the likes of Watford and Reading and we might win another league title but this utter lack of logic in our business dealings will come back to haunt us someday.

the art of war by zizou

2006-07-01T16:06:00.000-07:00

32 has whittled down to 4 and the World Cup semifinal lineup has quite a dismaying look to it.

Brazil's lukewarm exit has somewhat soothed my frayed nerves after agonisinly watching Jose Pekerman commit hari kiri and inadvertandly incite a brilliant Argentine squad into mass brawling.

Of all the teams that won't be busy kicking around with Teamgeist in Germany, perhaps Argentina was the most unluckiest. It certainly looked like the most talented bunch and with due respect to the 'Magic Quartet' et al, the Albiceleste had maybe too many crazysexycool players to drive us absolutely wild with delirium.

Germany v Italy; Portugal v France. Looks like the bookmakers are laughing all the way to the bank. Three of them have triumphed before but except for Italy, none of them were supposed to last this long. Maybe they dumped Gatorade in favour of Energizers. Who knows!

The 2006 edition kicked off in predictable fashion but the knockout stages have thrown up some real surprises. However, the football has been pedestrian most of the time and the wait for the perfect World Cup continues...

In a tournament billed as the platform where the Messis, Rooneys and Ronaldinhos were expected to bloom in style, guess who's having all the fun!?! Zizou!

theguardian's very own Amy Lawrence had an insightful take on it and i was nodding my head in appreciation when i read it. But alas, the drive of youth still is no match for the grandmaster.

2010 just can't come any sooner. South Africa, i'll be there.

comin' atcha live!

2006-06-12T15:54:00.000-07:00

According to informed sources, 97.62% of blogs spring to life in the still of the night. Here's another one.